Mama's Birthday

My birthday was November 13 and it was a wonderful day. Actually, it started the night before when Braydon was moved to pray

"Thank you, Lord, that you have allowed Mom to make it to 44."

I don't usually retort a child's prayer, but it slipped out of my mouth a little too quick,

"Not yet, buddy!"

Well, Praise God, the sun rose the next day and indeed I made it to 44.

My girls made me the most beautiful cake:

We had a lot of fun just hanging around the table:

Some of my best gifts were kisses:

Back at ya' baby!

!

My official gift was a new set of kitchen knives. Something that I really needed. Ricky seemed to think they were cool too:

In the evening my Ladies Small Group Bible Study came over. Not to celebrate my birthday in particular, but our group takes a hiatus over the holidays and will not pick up again until February. At the last dinner party we enjoy each other and reveal who our "secret sisters" have been for the last 8 weeks or so.  I have never been so blessed as I have been by this group of women. When we came back to this church, my first question was do you still have small group. Then I racked my brain to figure the schedule out around my kids. These women pray, listen, cry, laugh and generally hold each other up as we walk along the road towards Christ. I say things there that I would not say anywhere else and I know that what is said in small group stays in small group. I love my sisters and it was a double blessing to have them on my birthday. Thank you ladies for a wonderful evening.

All I can say about the next few pictures is: be careful when you leave the tribe alone with a camera.

Hard Tellin', Not Knowin'

I was thinking today about silly phrases I say to my children all the time like:

"I'm gonna snatch a knot in your tail."

That was something my Dad used to say and I still say, but the kids know that it is all in fun.

Or after a really crazy and obvious lie, my eyes get big and I say, "Do I have 'stupid' written on my forehead?"

And occassionally I have to tell them, "Sorry, hon, I speak English." After they have mumbled something unintelligible that they assume I have totally understood.

One of my favorites though is, "Hard tellin', not knowin'" Which I got from an old TV show. It is so true, because we want to know how so many things are going to turn out.  "What will happen if..." "Mom, do you think it might..."

"I don't know. Hard tellin' not knowin.'"

But, some things we can know for sure. Those things I am trying desparately to pass to my children. These things I know.  I wrote some of them in my post on the The Last Mama.  At my church Sunday we had a visitor sing a powerful song by The Martins called "The Promise".  Our family sits in the second pew -- which really ought to be the first since no one sits in front of us. I was not prepared for what came my way. I looked into the choir and I saw eyes closed, heads bowed and tear stained cheeks. The tears simply ran from my eyes.

All the things that song promises are for us from Jesus Christ as our savior. He never promises us earthly riches or freedom from troubles. He does most certainly promise that we will never be without him. The last stanza:

I didn't say you'd never taste the bitter kiss of death

Or have to walk thru chilly Jordan to enter into rest

But I did say I'd be waiting right on the other side

And I did say I'll dry every tear you've cried

I have a Mama's heart. I want them to know I will always be here for them, but the truth is... I will be gone someday. I am trying to lead them to the one that will, absolutely, never leave them. I have told them that I know where I am going when I do leave, I want to see them there. I am going home and my final address is in heaven, please make it home.

If you have few minutes, click the link on the title above -- oh and grab a tissue first!

Educating Mama

I love to read. I really want my kids to love to read. I am having some success, my older two are voracious readers.

Recently, Jerome and I have tried scheduling time, individually, with our children to foster bonding. With Adela and Mary I have times to work in the kitchen together preparing a meal. I am amazed at how much they are learning and enjoying our times together.

With Riane I am having a more loose time. We meet together once a week to pray and discuss whatever is on her mind. Lately, she has asked me to watch a few old musicals with her -- something we both enjoy. We have also decided that I will read some of the same books with her for fun. I tend to read non-fiction books. The last one I picked up was all about Polio, its spread in the US and the hunt for a vaccination. I found it fascinating. Riane's response was, "Only you would read a book about Polio!"

"So, what are you reading, what are we going to start with for discussion?"

"Hamlet."

"Hamlet??"  I haven't read Shakespeare since college. Well, I am reading it now. I am still reading it. She has gleefully finished, went on to polish off Wuthering Heights and is now reading Jane Eyre. Okay, I'll admit it, I am struggling to keep up.

I am being out read by 15 year old. So, keep an eye on my "What I've Been Reading" sidebar. It's definitely going classic.

The Last Mama

Things have not been all that easy of late. I have been struggling with issues with my kids. A whole lot of our issues have dealt with adoption and trust. I have been down this road before. I have adopted before, we even went through a couple years of therapy for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I know how hard this is and I have still been feeling like a frustrated fish out of water. These past few days, the Lord has weaved together several items to give me a new perspective and fresh vigor for the journey.

First of all, my kids brought home a cute book from the library called Mama One, Mama Two. The story is about a little girl who has to live with Mama two (foster care) until Mama One (birth mom) is better. We talked briefly about how I am some of my kids' "Mama One" and some kids' "Mama Two".

However, I didn't always feel like a good Mama of anything. I was dealing with behaviors and attitudes and would sometimes have good responses and sometimes not so much. I didn't like it when I fell to yelling or was just angry. "Why can't I get thru to this kid? Why don't they get it?" thoughts were running through my brain and I was beginning to wear thin and feel tired.

Then I was privileged to hear this recording on Focus on the Family; a two-day interview with the Barrett family and their experience adopting teenagers. It really encouraged me and let me know that there is hope. Something I should have known from my past experience, but was struggling with anyway. The broadcast re-focused my outlook and let me see where I do it right and where I need to "shore up the wall" so to speak.

Today, I had a bit of a respite by taking Braydon and Wokelle to Braydon's quiz meet. He was busy quizzing and Wokelle was content with his little cars. My mind travelled over the past week in all of its ugliness and struggle. It also re-played all of these subtle messages that had been falling in my lap. I realized that old saying "love covers over a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8) is true. The whole verse actually reads, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." I don't believe MY love does a lot of covering, but the Love of God sure does. I long to be obedient to the Lord and I adopted children out of a lvoe that the Lord placed in my heart. He grew them in my heart and there they are all planted. He did  a mighty work in the life of Adela and Ricky and indeed our whole family -- not by any great act of mine, but he took my feeble attempts and covered a multitude of my sins to do His work.

When I got home today, the family was working on a collage project of pictures for the top of a desk.

There's quite a bit of work left to be down - but these are old pictures that we haven't looked at for some time.

This corner was in pretty good shape.

As my eyes scanned the memories I was brought up short.

These are the kids I brought home some 8 years ago. It may be hard to see in this picture, but their faces are terrified and their eyes are all but dead.

This is a lot of what we dealt with every day:

But in the course of time, healing has taken place.

 amd peace reigns most of the time. My effort - no. God's grace poured out in our lives -- an undeserved privilege.

I sat on the bed and told my kids, "I've been thinking about the "Mama one, Mama two", remember? I realized something today.. I am not Mama one or Mama two -- I am the last Mama -- the last Mama you  will ever need."

I know I will make mistakes and I will certainly never be perfect. Come what may, I will always be here.

He alone is my rock and salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalm 62:2

Losing the Flow

Yesterday afternoon the water began to trickle. I noticed it when I was washing up some things at the kitchen sink. We couldn't even get the pitcher for drinking water filled from the reverse osmosis tap. I checked outside where Ricky was washing a couple of screens for me and he said "Oh yeah, the water kind of stopped in the middle, but I did the best I could."

Oh dear. We have our own well and septic I knew I had a problem. I first checked the fuse boxes. No electric to the pump -- then no water. Fuse boxes were just fine. Uh Oh.

Of course, Jerome was at work. I made a quick call and he sent me crawling around the equipment room, unplugging, re-plugging, twisting things. The pump was shot. Then he gave me specs and told me to go buy a pump and when he got home from work around midnight he would install the new pump and we would have water.

OKAY. That left me with six kids, a sink now full of dinner dishes and no running water. Not even a flushable toilet. I had bottled water in the garage for drinking and last week I had bought some hand sanitizer.

Telling children the toilets are out makes them all have to go. A lot.

We had to drop Braydon at church for a quiz practice, so we used the bathrooms and washed our hands. We had to go to Lowe's and buy the new pump -- and use the bathrooms and wash our hands. We had to go back and pick up Braydon, and use the bathrooms and wash our hands. As soon as we got home -- the kids needed to go potty. Is that even possible?

Anyway, it was time for bed and we had made it through. Jerome arrived and... one piece that was needed had to be purchased separately. No water until some time the next day. Since he had rushed home from work to get the pump going, he didn't shower at work. He couldn't shower at home, so he slept on the floor to keep our bed clean -- what a guy!

After family devotions he went right out and bought the part. By lunch today, we were back in the flow.

I was frustrated with our lack of running water and what I felt was a total lack of cleanliness. However, I wondered what it would really be like to live in some parts of the world, where running water is a true luxury.  I am really feeling blessed to be living in the flow.